HomeShare your Wisdom
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the lizard :: General Board :: Fun!
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Share your Wisdom
by Michelin Man Fri Apr 27, 2018 12:09 pm
Share the gems of wisdom you learned
along the way,
the hard way,
the rectal dentistry way
(oh, you non-tires probably don't have that one).
Well, any way you came by them,
tell us the the life lessons you've gained
and how you gained them...
along the way,
the hard way,
the rectal dentistry way
(oh, you non-tires probably don't have that one).
Well, any way you came by them,
tell us the the life lessons you've gained
and how you gained them...
Michelin Man- Are you an alien? : I'm inflateable
Posts : 17
Join date : 2018-04-11
Location : In legend.
Re: Share your Wisdom
by Michelin Man Fri Apr 27, 2018 12:19 pm
I found it useful to finally understand
that when someone asks "What do you do?",
"I blow" is not a good socially acceptable answer.
The tales of my learning this I leave to your imagination.
that when someone asks "What do you do?",
"I blow" is not a good socially acceptable answer.
The tales of my learning this I leave to your imagination.
Michelin Man- Are you an alien? : I'm inflateable
Posts : 17
Join date : 2018-04-11
Location : In legend.
Re: Share your Wisdom
by Shakey Pete Fri Apr 27, 2018 5:33 pm
I learned that peeing on a police officer's leg
will in most cases not be appreciated,
except by stoners passing by.
I further learned that fifty dollars is not enough.
I'm not really allowed to discuss this. But I sometimes think,
if I didn't look like Hitler, maybe people wouldn't get so mad at me.
*whips it out and pees dark stinky angst*
will in most cases not be appreciated,
except by stoners passing by.
I further learned that fifty dollars is not enough.
I'm not really allowed to discuss this. But I sometimes think,
if I didn't look like Hitler, maybe people wouldn't get so mad at me.
*whips it out and pees dark stinky angst*
Shakey Pete- Are you an alien? : Shhh! *offers you 5 pesos, I mean bucks, to go away*
Posts : 46
Join date : 2014-03-25
Location : location, location
Re: Share your Wisdom
by Dudley Do-Right Fri Apr 27, 2018 6:12 pm
I've written a poem for my life lesson...
If you love your horse, set him free.
If he comes back, and not just to see Nell, then he was yours.
If he doesn't come back, then he may just have gotten lost again
and you should probably go look for him...even though when you do,
you'll find Nell has already located him and is administering a massage
to his genital region, which she assures me is "to calm him"
and then she flusters curtly, "Damn it Dudley, I'm a nurse, don't question me!"
If he comes back, and not just to see Nell, then he was yours.
If he doesn't come back, then he may just have gotten lost again
and you should probably go look for him...even though when you do,
you'll find Nell has already located him and is administering a massage
to his genital region, which she assures me is "to calm him"
and then she flusters curtly, "Damn it Dudley, I'm a nurse, don't question me!"
Dudley Do-Right- Are you an alien? : Did my horse tell you that?
Posts : 15
Join date : 2018-01-11
Location : I am a mounted Candian policeman.
Re: Share your Wisdom
by Rocket J Squirrel Fri Apr 27, 2018 6:23 pm
You guys are weird. Okay, here goes..
Be careful where you put your nuts.
And wherever you decide to put them, DO put them in the same place.
Because trust me, if you try splitting them up, that's gonna be a mistake.
Rocket J Squirrel- Are you an alien? : If only
Posts : 50
Join date : 2017-12-03
Location : look up!
The Moose- Are you an alien? : I'm an indigenous species.
Posts : 60
Join date : 2014-03-25
Location : behind your couch
Rocket J Squirrel- Are you an alien? : If only
Posts : 50
Join date : 2017-12-03
Location : look up!
Re: Share your Wisdom
by The Moose Fri Apr 27, 2018 6:36 pm
Oh I thought we were reciting poems.
Aw heck.
The Moose- Are you an alien? : I'm an indigenous species.
Posts : 60
Join date : 2014-03-25
Location : behind your couch
Re: Share your Wisdom
by The Moose Fri Apr 27, 2018 6:37 pm
So you want to hear a life lesson then? Okay.
Some apples are different than other apples.
so if you're following behind horsey,
maybe don't bite into the apples you find there
(unless you like that sort of thing).
The Moose- Are you an alien? : I'm an indigenous species.
Posts : 60
Join date : 2014-03-25
Location : behind your couch
Re: Share your Wisdom
by Shakey Pete Mon Mar 22, 2021 10:05 pm
Once I didn't eat or poop for 4 days on a walking fast.
Then I ate a sandwich, and snorted lines.
I had to go ricochet out a golf ball-sized poop marble which almost cracked the porcelain.
This was followed by a fart so long I had to pause to let my anus inhale.
Tell me I don't know how to have a good time!
Shakey Pete- Are you an alien? : Shhh! *offers you 5 pesos, I mean bucks, to go away*
Posts : 46
Join date : 2014-03-25
Location : location, location
the lizard :: General Board :: Fun!
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